Change

Readers I am thrilled to inform you of some very exciting news. I officially have an arch nemesis. I would like to say I have waited all my life for this moment... In some ways (mostly contained in my daydreams of being Catwoman or Lavagirl) I have always wished for a nemesis, but in reality, this is a lie. I am utterly afraid of conflict and have avoided any run-ins with potential enemies for the majority of my life, it's as if they had anthrax lasers that shot from their eyes or something.

But regardless, I am here to proudly announce I indeed finally have an arch nemesis that thoroughly hates my guts and I in return thoroughly hate theirs.

The key word in this is "theirs".

Yes, I am one of the pour souls who has a plural enemy, and because of this, they have an infinite advantage over me. Their army not only breaches the millions in number, but they have these other black magic qualities that make them impossible opponents to defeat. They make me look like just another charlie sheen in this world...

I will hit three main attributes they have:

1. They are invisible.
2. EVERYWHERE
3. Only can be killed with boiling water or cancer causing agents

You are probably thinking right now, what the hell are these things? The Wicked Witch of the West and her entire extended family? I wish. She's even prettier than this guy....

Dust mites. YES, Dust mites have officially been deemed as my enemy. My Voldemort, if you will.

Anyways, a few months ago I found out I had a severe allergy to dustmites/dust etc etc... And when I say allergies I am not saying the occasional sneezing episode or itchy eyes. Not even the all day sneezing episode or the week long. I'm taking full fledged mucus coming out of my eye balls (I'm def being real right. mahlifebeelyke!), exhaustion from unsually high histamine levels from my immune system being "revved on over drive" (this means lots of sleepin' or just nonthinking going on... really inconvienient when you are trying to get stuff done), hives (gotz chickenpox e'ryday, all day), AND rashes (which makes my idea of being Catwoman fighting Poison Ivy have more personal motivation) for EIGHT MONTHS.

Yes, EIGHT MONTHS. And I swear to God I am never, ever going to browse WebMD next time I am sick or even for the next unknown bout of time that I am cursed with my symptoms. Because the symptom checker has made me think I've had the incurable diseases known to human, like brain tumors and Lupus.

NOT COOL, GUYS.

Anyways, this mudda-fers are screwing up my life right now, they have already given me a Staph infection (in my eyes...) and are causing me to move out of my house. I've seen 7 specialists, gotten my a new mattress, thrown away my rug and curtains, have been on 8 different eye drops, more than a half dozen perscription allergy pills, steroids, antibiotics, Lordknows how many creams. The list goes on, but I'm past my self-pity parties and moved on to my ranting rages of anger.

I hate these bugs more than Satan himself. And I swear, if I ever get my hands on a ray-gun, I would blow one of those suckers to life size and beat the shit out of them with my bare hands and a chain saw. 'Cause I mean business and I don't care if it gets messy.

I've tried to reason with them. I've told them to pick on someone their own size, I've told them I've done nothing ever to hurt them. I'm peaceful by nature to all critters, bugs included. I mean I've been a Vegetarian by birth and when ants used to invade my old house in CA, I would try to redirect their line to the outside with white sugar granules or maple syrup before whipping out the 409 and inflicting an Ant Genocide. You would think I deserve some Karma in this?

Guess not.

Sigh. The Saga continues, Unfortunately, this means I am moving out of this lovely house I have inhabited for almost a year in hopes that maybe I'm terribly wrong and it's not the dustmites. And maybe, I'm just super allergic to the paint on the walls.

Time will tell. On a serious note, I could use some heavy duty prayer. Chronic sickness of this fashion is absolutely miserable. When I'm triggered by some allergen I'm in bed within seconds with swollen eyes and an exhausted heart.